Hopelessly Marginal [Explicit Lyrics]

Track Listings

1. Simona

2. Happy Crappy Valentine's Day

3. What You Mean to Me

4. The Forest

5. Static Midwesticity

6. Marginal

7. Heavy Petting Zoo

8. Losing Everything

9. I Don't Know Why

10. You and Gin

11. Where'd All the Horny Girls Go?

12. Santa Liked Tequila

Editorial Reviews
About the Artist
In 1993, unable to read or write music, Terry Mertens taught himself to play guitar in the hope that it would increase his chances of "hooking up" with women. Today, still unable to read or write music, Terry has established himself as a talented songwriter with an ear for catchy pop tunes and a way with words. Despite this, he remains largely unable to hook up with women.

Album Description
Pure acoustic pop from the deranged mind of a single man with a single guitar. Melodic, insightful, humorous, and playful, "Hopelessly Marginal" is a mellow romp made for the masses and easy to love.

Tracks:

Simona
Happy Crappy Valentine's Day
What You Mean to Me
The Forest
Static Midwesticity
Marginal
Heavy Petting Zoo
Losing Everything
I Don't Know Why
You and Gin
Where'd All the Horny Girls Go?
Santa Liked Tequila

Album Description

Pure acoustic pop from the deranged mind of a single man with a single guitar. Melodic, insightful, humorous, and playful, "Hopelessly Marginal" is a mellow romp made for the masses and easy to love.

Customer Reviews:

I was so disappointed..........2004-01-14

Terry, after reading your column faithfully for the past year, I was very disappointed to hear your CD did not "match up." See, I have wanted to hear your voice in addition to reading your column, because it seemed like the thing to do......you know what I mean. I'm a fan of your writing, but really -- keep that voice in the shower! People need to keep their $15 to themselves, too! I feel lied to, I'm so sad........boo hoo... Yeah, the CD sucked. I wanted to go listen to the Indigo Girls after listening to that crap, if you know what I mean! I'm so sad. Thought it'd be better. PS: if you folks out there want a mental comparison to the sound that comes out of Terry's mouth...then...think of a dying cat, being cooked alive, on a stove....in hell. Or, a weeping elephant, crying with that elephant "toot"....in a sad way. Or, even better, I say it's like someone is beating a dog, and the dog is crying out to be shot! Yeah, I like that one. I actually made myself laugh with that one. Too bad the CD made me cry, especially when I learned it was a "no return" policy... Tragic.

Absolutely FANtabulous... A "champagne" toast........2003-12-14

Terry Mertens hits it right on with his Album "Hopelessly Marginal." It's definitely playful mixed with a little biting attitued, which makes his music so very entertaining. Everytime I listen to it, i hear something new, or pick up on a new joke or a new twist. I don't think it is possible to be disappointed with this CD, he hits the right chord every time and sings a tune sure to catch your attention. Way to go, Terry!

Kicks Serious Behind!.......2003-07-27

Terry is a musical genius. His album should be at the top ten, making billions of dollars, and living the lifestyle of the rich and famous (i.e., having substance abuse problems, living a morally deficient life and being adored by millions of women). Unfortunately, without the proper music industry backing and lacking the monetary power similar to that of "artist formerly known as Prince" a.k.a "glyph boy", Mr. Mertin's brilliance is destined to languish in obscurity unless you, yes you, buy this worthy CD. Come on. Don't just sit there. Buy this @&#$* product. And, tell your friends to do the same thing. You have a future famous person to support. So, get on with it!

Hopelessly Marginal is just that (artist review).......2003-07-24

Most people won't get this album...and by that I don't mean "purchase." People won't understand what it is because they don't know what real music is anymore, or what it sounded like before digitization made every last note perfect. This is not a perfect recording. In fact, it is FAR from it. It is mine, and I am the first one to admit that. But it's got something else going for it...something real. It's probably not for everyone. If you're looking for a professionally produced, flawless recording, I suggest Robbie Williams or George Michael. If you're looking for a simple songwriter with an old 12-string acoustic who writes and performs from the heart, this is right up your alley. It was self-produced and paid for, so there wasn't an unlimited budget and studio time to work with. And then there's the fact that I can't read or write music. Of all the CDs I've sold playing live, I've only ever received one poor review, and it's the one on this page. Most people who get it, also "get it." It won't be up for any Grammy's, but what it does it does well.

Music Album:

Music Album

1. Simona
2. Happy Crappy Valentine's Day
3. What You Mean to Me
4. The Forest
5. Static Midwesticity
6. Marginal
7. Heavy Petting Zoo
8. Losing Everything
9. I Don't Know Why
10. You and Gin
11. Where'd All the Horny Girls Go?
12. Santa Liked Tequila